Ginger Love Dampens In Tough Economy

Ginger Love Dampens In Tough Economy

On the eve of President Barack Obama’s jobs speech, many Americans face grim prospects in the employment market. Last month’s labor statistics showed an unchanged unemployment rate of 9.1%. A poll conducted by the Wall Street Journal indicated the current recession left a greater impact than the 9/11 terrorist attacks or America’s wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Minorities, in particular, suffer more so through the current economic conditions. One particular group, gingers, make up approximately 1% – 2% of the population, leaving them an even smaller minority than the unemployed. A study confirmed that redheads feel more pain, thus leaving them more debilitated in today’s climate.

Normally, the beacon of color atop a redhead, mixed with a pale, glowing complexion, would stand out from a crowd. But, a report from Orange County, CA (no pun intended) characterized one young man’s desperate attempt to get employers to notice his redheadedness.

The Twitterverse highlights the exponential problems faced by the UV-sensitive group over other hair colors.

Celebrity gingers failed to escape the wrath their average brethren burden. Iconic mascots, Ronald McDonald and Wendy, capture the economic trends against redheads. The Wendy’s brand features its auburn star prominently in its logo, while McDonald’s does not. Over the past five years, Wendy’s stock price lost 72%, while McDonald’s gained 112%, displaying a positive correlation between his absence and stock price gain. Ronald McDonald suffered more setbacks when a group of health professionals called for his retirement.

In media, not even magic can save the most famous redheaded wizard. Despite being part of a billion dollar film project, Ron Weasley joins the unemployed ranks, as the end of the Harry Potter series arrived. Recently Sirius Satellite Radio launched Redheaded Radio: 100 Years of Lucile Ball, leaving, by some estimates, 2,999,999 to 5,999,999 redheads in America without a broadcast featuring them.

One bright spot surround the rehiring of talk show host Conan O’Brien. However, considering his departure from the Tonight Show the year before, O’Brien’s net job growth over the past two years remained a defeated zero percent.

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